Mick Malthouse goes to a reunion at the Richmond Football Club and starts chatting with Terry Wallace . Terry says to Mick, "Well, Mick, I don't know what you think of your players at Collingwood, but mine here at Richmond are all bright and brilliant."
"How do you know?" asks Mick.
"Oh well, it's simple", says Terry. "We now put them through a special intelligence test before they can play here. Just pick any of my players and we will see how well he does."
Mick thinks for a while and then nominates Matthew Richardson. Terry calls him over and asks him, "Tell me Matty, who is the child of your father and of your mother who is not your brother and is not your sister?"
"Ah, that's simple Terry", says Matthew. "It's me."
"Well done, Matty," says Terry.
Mick is very impressed. Mick returns to Collingwood and wonders about the intelligence of the Collingwood team. He calls in Buckley and asks, "Nathan tell me, who is the child of your father and of your mother who is not your brother and is not your sister?"
Nathan thinks and thinks and doesn't know the answer. "Can I think about it a bit more Mick, and I'll give you an answer tomorrow?"
"Of course", says Mick. "You've got 24 hours. But it is very important that you come up with the answer." Nathan goes away, thinks as hard as he can, and then he calls in his team mates. Rocca thought it might be his grandpa, but wasn't sure. Tarrant was certain that it couldn't be anyone. McKee admitted he was sacked from Richmond for not knowing the answer. Cloke also owned up to failing the test while trying to get a position at Punt Road. Prestigiacomo thought it would be an uncle in Italy who had been adopted as a child. Licuria, when asked, went into the foetal position. The rest of the Collingwood team wouldn't even hazard a guess.
20 hours later, Nathan is very worried that he still has no answer with only 4 hours to go. Eventually Nathan says, "I know, I'll ring James Hird. He's bloody smart, he will know the answer."
He calls James. "James", he says, "Tell me who is the child of your father and of your mother who is not your brother and is not your sister?"
"Very simple", says James, "it's me!"
"Of course!" says Nathan, and he rings Mick. "Mick", says Nathan, "I've got the answer - it's James Hird."
"No, you idiot", says Mick. "It's Matthew Richardson."