Hello, my name is not important, I suffer from the guilt of not
forwarding 50 billion fucking chain letters sent to me by people who
actually believe that if you send them on, a poor 6-year-old girl in
Tasmania with a breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough
money to have it removed before her redneck parents sell her to a
travelling freak show.
Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you, and
everyone to whom you send "his" email, $1000? How stupid are we?
"Ooooh, looky here! If I scroll down this page and make a wish,
I'll get laid by every good looking model in the magazine!"
What a load of bullshit.
Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my house and
sodomize me in my sleep for not continuing a chain that was started
by Peter in 5 AD and brought to the Australia by midget pilgrims on
the First Fleet.
Fuck them. If you're going to forward something, at least send me
something mildly amusing. I've seen all the "send this to 10 of your
closest friends, and this poor, wretched excuse for a human being
will somehow receive a zack from some omniscient being" forwards
about 90 times.
I don't fucking care.
Show a little intelligence and think about what you're actually
contributing to by sending out these forwards. Chances are, it's
your own unpopularity!
The point being? If you get some chain letter that's threatening to
leave you shagless or luckless for the rest of your life, delete it.
If it's funny, send it on. Don't piss people off by making them feel
guilty about a leper in Botswana with no teeth who has been tied to
a dead elephant for 27 years and whose only salvation is the 5 cents
per letter he'll receive if you forward this email.
Oh, by the way all you idiots out there:
NO COMPANY HAS ANY WAY OF TRACKING E-MAIL OUTSIDE THEIR SYSTEM -NO,
NOT EVEN MICROSOFT!!! THERE IS NO SUCH TECHNOLOGY YET!!!!! AND IF
THERE WERE, IT WOULD PROBABLY BE AGAINST THE LAW TO TRACK IT FOR
Now forward this to everyone you know. Otherwise, tomorrow morning
your underwear will turn carnivorous and will consume your genitals.