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 Joke Of the Day
  Aussie radio





  Airline Safety Checks
 
 
After every flight, pilots complete a gripe sheet which conveys to
the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the
flight that need repair or correction. The form is a piece of paper
that the pilot completes and then the mechanics read and correct the
problem. They then respond in writing on the lower half of the form
what remedial action was taken and the pilot reviews the gripe
sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground
crews and engineers lack a sense of humour. Here are some actual
logged maintenance complaints and problems, known as submitted by
QANTAS pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers. By
the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had a fatal
accident.

P = The problem logged by the pilot.
S = The solution and action taken by the engineers.
**********************************************



P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tyre.

P: Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.
S: Autoland not installed on this aircraft.

P: No. 2 propeller seeping prop fluid.
S: No. 2 propeller seepage normal. No's 1, 3, and 4 propellers lack
normal seepage.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with words.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed



Joke Info
Contributor: Joker
Rating: Rated 4.05 from 21 votesRated 4.05 from 21 votesRated 4.05 from 21 votesRated 4.05 from 21 votesRated 4.05 from 21 votes


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